Below is an excerpt from a book that I've been working on for some time. Please let me know what you think. Jeff
From Chapter: The Wings Of God's Love
... But for one, the truth began to bring conviction. A gnawing ache and a fearful need to be free of something hidden began to grow deep within. Child knew secretly, that for him, the joy of the truth was not complete. He had unfinished business, and for him, there was no freedom yet. In the midst of this joyous celebration of freedom and thanksgiving, he alone began to suffer increasing guilt. His hidden shame robbed him of his ability to share in this joy. His brothers, each of them having been forgiven and cleansed, enjoyed the truth of hope and the grace of their Lord. But having concealed the shame of his stained gown, Child alone remained imprisoned by his failure and the fear of it loomed large, ever growing in his heart. Feeling increasingly isolated by the filth that he still wore, he moved quietly away from the celebration to the edge of darkness. He moved to the edge of the shadows and away from the light that shown down from above in hopes that no one would see the stain of filth. He needed to ponder the shame of his situation and to think about how he would approach the Lord to reveal the truth of his failure. What if he was scolded in front of the others and his shame was made known to all present. Even the host of heaven were watching.
As he crouched down and quietly reflected, he took his heart flask from his sash and placed it on a rock in front of him. Burdened by his secret guilt, his flask wasn't nearly as bright as it had been before. As he stared at it mesmerized in deep thought, he began to hear whispers from the darkness that cut him and made him cringe. "You'll be ridiculed by those who bear no stain" he heard them say. "You'll be humiliated and shamed if you reveal it." "But my Lord Emmanuel has forgiven my brothers and He will surely forgive me also" Child stated thoughtfully in reply. "But you are not them" came a whisper, "you're different and you know it. What if He rejects you. You've walked with Him from the beginning. You've seen the others fall and you know better. You're without excuse!" came the accusing reply. "But Emmanuel said that He paid the price for all who travel" Child stated defensively. "Oh, but you have sinned doubly in that you've also chosen to conceal the filth of your sin. You have dared to deceive the others by doing so. You've tried to act as though nothing is wrong and to present yourself as clean. So this great hope doesn't apply to you. For you, there's no redemption. For you, there's only condemnation and damnation. You don't deserve forgiveness. Your wickedness and deceit continue even now as you hide in the shadows." Each whisper from the darkness cut him and aggravated his misery further. Each seemed to bear some small measure of truth. Just enough, to make him begin to doubt. He began to become convinced by them that his situation was different from the others and that he was unworthy of redemption. Without his notice, his heart flask grew slightly dimmer with each comment and accusation as he listened. As his countenance dimmed, his hope faded with it and darkness slowly grew around him.
Unseen by Child, his accusers drew nearer and nearer under the cover of the darkness they were creating around him by their foul accusations and perversions of the truth. They waited, drooling as their putrid breath escaped in panting anticipation hidden in the darkness. Their talons were razor sharp and their fangs could pierce a travelers' flesh without effort and tear them to shreds. They would take him soon and their victory within eyesight of the great Emanuel would bring them tremendous fame and praise from their master. Their reward would be great. Their daring would be legendary among their own and the story of their conquest retold for generations to come. Despair, the leader of this small force of Shadow Creatures, took the lead as he taunted Child relentlessly. He had waited patiently for this moment. Always lurking in the shadows, he had followed Child from the moment he first set foot on the path. He had seen an opportunity to strike earlier in the Valley of Shadows when Perry ran ahead into the trap that had been set for him. Perrys' demise would have tortured Childs' heart terribly and provided and easy opening for Despair to bring him down. But then Great Faith, the big mouth, the one who had managed to get away from Doubt, had to ruin everything with prayer for Perry. Him and his new found strong faith made Despair want to wretch. It made him sick to watch Great Faith lead the others with his pious faith. "I hope that the Master made Doubt suffer horribly before dispatching him for his failure" he thought to himself.
"And Mystic! If it wasn't for her dawdling, the thought of Perry would be nothing more than a source of pain and misery for Child". The perfect setting for Despair to work his poisonous dark art in Childs' mind. It was his impatient voice that was heard in the tent growling the warning that time was running out. Pride was in rare form and had worked hard to prey on Perrys' weakness and Deception himself had found time to prepare the drink that was offered to dull Perrys' perception. Everything was going perfectly, but Mystic waited too long. Her need to show off and drag it out had cost them everything. It was her stalling that gave time for that lummox Warrior, whom they all despised, to show up and ruin everything again. Despair was counting on Perrys' demise to allow him to overcome Child and bring him to his own disgraceful end.
But even when Mystic failed them all, he had seen yet another opening when the brothers searched fruitlessly for Perry after spotting the bloodied scrap of gown that he had planted between the tents for them to find. But again, they appealed to their Father in prayer and once again his hopes and his careful laid plans were thwarted. But now, ... nothing would stop him. He'd already lashed deep cuts into Childs' back with his sharp talons, wounding him as he whispered foul condemnation into his mind. Soon, he would finish this whimpering follower of the light and send him to the master to be properly dispatched. But not before wreaking terror beyond imagination upon this miserable creature. Only just a little more light left to extinguish before Childs' flask would become dark. Just a few more lashes to his heart to extinguish the accursed light. From right under Emmanuel' nose, Despair would bring victory to his master. He would be made to command legions for this accomplishment and given a position of great power.
Neither Child wrestling with the condemnation in his heart, nor Despair exalting himself in visions of vanity heard the footsteps approaching. But the brilliant flash of a massive sword of light startled Child enough to make him fall backwards to the ground from his crouch. Despair didn't even have time to shriek before the searing light of the sword cut him in half and burned what remained into nothing more than a diminishing wisp of smoke until he was no more. "The Master's calling you little one. Have you not heard His voice?" Weak and barely able to move, Child somehow managed to look up and see the concerned look on Warriors' face. Indeed he hadn't heard. His ears were full of the dirt and filth that Despair was spewing and it left him deaf to his Masters' calling. Despairs' wicked and skillful attack had left Child near death.
Warrior reached down with his great hands and picked up Child, bloody and deeply wounded, to cradle him in his arms. He carried his little brother back toward the other side of the rock where Emmanuel was waiting by the pond. Great tears of loving concern streamed down his giant face for this little brother. Before, all was celebration, but as Warrior approached with the bloodied body of his little brother cradled in his arms, all was now silent. He marched determinedly with great lumbering steps until he stood before Emmanuel and knelt before him with Child tenderly embraced in his arms. Tears were streaming down his face as he looked up at the Savior. "Oh Lord, I found him where you told me he would be, but he was nearly taken by the filth of darkness and they wounded him terribly." His great tears falling on Childs' face revived Child enough to recognize the face of his beloved Master. "Oh Lord Emmanuel, forgive me I pray. I've soiled the gown our Father gave me and I've hidden it from you. I have failed to follow His commandment" he whispered weakly.
Child had forgotten his fear of reproach. All that mattered now was that he be forgiven and reunited with his beloved Lord and Master. Emmanuel looked down on him tenderly and replied "Child, there is no thing hidden from your Father. We have known all along. We waited only for your request for forgiveness to make you shine again clean and restored. Many have walked before you with all good intention in their heart to stay clean before their Lord, only to find to their hearts' dismay, that they have failed.
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