Note: If you've not had the opportunity to read the foreword or previous chapters and would like to, please look for the title of this writing under the "Blog Pages" tab above and click on it. You'll find what's available to date under that tab. jbh
The Passion Well
Chapter 9:
Building To A Reset
***
James 3:13 NLT
"If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom."
***
I should have seen it coming...
In the busy, hazy confusion of day to day events, ranging from personal to familial and then on a world wide basis, it's easy for one to get caught up in a cycle of concerns and activities that make certain things seem more remote or possibly even lost in the fog of life. It seems endlessly true that some things are more important than others ... but then none are more important than some. It's not too hard to understand how some of us can easily get distracted or even find our selves disconnected, if only temporarily, from other things that we truly do believe. It would seem that this would be even more likely if that "thing" weren't constantly large in our face, or it were perhaps even ... invisible to us.
Once again, in the course of my still defiant, determined march to succeed, I managed to overload myself to a point where I felt that life itself had sucked the life out of me. Jobs, goals, illnesses, finances, relationships, broken dreams, parenting, maintenance, repairs, etc., etc. overwhelmed anything else in my life to a point where I realized that I had become not much more than a flesh and blood machine. I couldn't spare the time to invest in being proactive because I was too busy reacting to an endless flood of new challenges and events.
I can also say with complete confidence that it happened because I had allowed my priorities to get mixed up and out of order. I discovered that it's very easy to do when you either don't know, or lose sight of why you exist ...
I've accepted for decades that our God exists. That hasn't been a problem for me. That pathway of knowledge is something that was gracefully started by my mom and dad when I was young and something that I continued to search out over the many years in stumbling ways since. It became a firm belief later in life that led to a relationship and a belief that our Lord Himself has confirmed without question in my life. Belief and the experience of close relationship with Him eventually became a foundation of sure and certain knowledge. But a long missing element of the knowledge of His existence, one that at times nagged at me and gave me trouble could be stated in a simple question: why do I exist?
Without understanding the answer to that question, it was easy for me to put an invisible God conveniently on an invisible dusty mental shelf somewhere where I could easily find Him when I needed Him ... and of course, need Him I did (and always will as we all do). Although, I have known Him for a long time and have experienced His interaction frequently, the answer to the question of how I fit into the picture - my purpose, is one that sank in later rather than sooner in my life. I know it now and it's not nearly as complicated as I was sure that it had to be. Because my flesh was convinced that my purpose had to be something complicated and must be more "important", I kept looking beyond the pure and simple truth in search of that "special mission". But the truth is that our special mission, our purpose, couldn't possibly be one of any greater importance.
***
Revelation 4:11(NLT)
"You are worthy, O Lord our God, to receive glory, honor and power. For you created everything, and it is for your pleasure that they exist and were created."
***
The Passion Well
Chapter 9:
Building To A Reset
***
James 3:13 NLT
"If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom."
***
I should have seen it coming...
In the busy, hazy confusion of day to day events, ranging from personal to familial and then on a world wide basis, it's easy for one to get caught up in a cycle of concerns and activities that make certain things seem more remote or possibly even lost in the fog of life. It seems endlessly true that some things are more important than others ... but then none are more important than some. It's not too hard to understand how some of us can easily get distracted or even find our selves disconnected, if only temporarily, from other things that we truly do believe. It would seem that this would be even more likely if that "thing" weren't constantly large in our face, or it were perhaps even ... invisible to us.
Once again, in the course of my still defiant, determined march to succeed, I managed to overload myself to a point where I felt that life itself had sucked the life out of me. Jobs, goals, illnesses, finances, relationships, broken dreams, parenting, maintenance, repairs, etc., etc. overwhelmed anything else in my life to a point where I realized that I had become not much more than a flesh and blood machine. I couldn't spare the time to invest in being proactive because I was too busy reacting to an endless flood of new challenges and events.
I can also say with complete confidence that it happened because I had allowed my priorities to get mixed up and out of order. I discovered that it's very easy to do when you either don't know, or lose sight of why you exist ...
I've accepted for decades that our God exists. That hasn't been a problem for me. That pathway of knowledge is something that was gracefully started by my mom and dad when I was young and something that I continued to search out over the many years in stumbling ways since. It became a firm belief later in life that led to a relationship and a belief that our Lord Himself has confirmed without question in my life. Belief and the experience of close relationship with Him eventually became a foundation of sure and certain knowledge. But a long missing element of the knowledge of His existence, one that at times nagged at me and gave me trouble could be stated in a simple question: why do I exist?
Without understanding the answer to that question, it was easy for me to put an invisible God conveniently on an invisible dusty mental shelf somewhere where I could easily find Him when I needed Him ... and of course, need Him I did (and always will as we all do). Although, I have known Him for a long time and have experienced His interaction frequently, the answer to the question of how I fit into the picture - my purpose, is one that sank in later rather than sooner in my life. I know it now and it's not nearly as complicated as I was sure that it had to be. Because my flesh was convinced that my purpose had to be something complicated and must be more "important", I kept looking beyond the pure and simple truth in search of that "special mission". But the truth is that our special mission, our purpose, couldn't possibly be one of any greater importance.
***
Revelation 4:11(NLT)
"You are worthy, O Lord our God, to receive glory, honor and power. For you created everything, and it is for your pleasure that they exist and were created."
***
..."it is for your pleasure that they exist and were created." Pleasing God ... pure and simple, straight up, clear and without room for conjecture. In one verse we find our top ranking and most basic purpose - our special mission. When it's taken seriously as it should be, it becomes life changing. But when it's ignored or forgotten, trouble may not be far away. It's counter to much of the world's culture and it puts this life in a very different perspective than one that seeks self serving independence and its own self absorbed pleasure. It frames our time on earth in a completely different context and readjusts our focus when we seek to live it out. Further, when you combine that knowledge of purpose with what we can know of our Lord's loving and nurturing character, you begin to realize that His intended goal in all of this ... is a relationship with each of us!
I believe that our Creator knew when He created us exactly what we would each need to experience in life to form our individual character to produce a healthy and beautifully unique heart that He longs to hold close for eternity and one that He can savor with pleasure in His kingdom. I think that this may answer in some part why we are allowed to go through some of the things that we may not be particularly excited about in life. I know that for my own part, I've experienced many challenges that I would never have asked to go through. But in each one, I've seen a spiritual benefit when I make an effort to look back at them with His perspective.
You have to remember always that God sees us as the eternal spirits that He created us to be, not as "this one life to live" human flesh we are so often invited to satisfy. So His plans for us are also eternal and are not limited to this short span of our life in the flesh. His teaching, training and correction are toward producing an eternal mature person fit for an enduring relationship with Him in the unending life that was His intention for us from the very beginning. Consequently, I personally discovered that the good and doting Father will sometimes intervene in very uncomfortable ways to protect and correct the children He loves so dearly when they harbor a wrong and possibly damning attitude or perspective - to avoid losing them ...
A particular series of those experiences left an indelible mark on my heart and is a brand that I hope never cools and never fades. It was my Lord's designed purpose to reset and establish my greatest priorities once and for all - to get my head and my heart out of the fog of life and out of a misguided focus ... and to close once and for all the distance that I put between us. At the time it would have been so easy for me to see it as some kind of crushing punishment, but in reality it was His loving effort of extreme grace to correct me... that, is my perspective...
***
Proverbs 3:11-12 (NLT)
11 "My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. 12 For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights".
***
As I mentioned earlier, my wife and I have together, with the Lord's gracious participation, raised a large family of seven children. While in the process, I found that in order to make any progress toward future goals beyond just meeting immediate needs, I felt that I had to try to work harder at it than some and to learn as much as possible. After years of struggling and continually advancing in knowledge and skill in my chosen work, I finally started my own general contracting business which I funded by cashing in my retirement account. For years I had been very successful managing the same kinds of duties this venture would require in positions with other companies, so it made sense that I should have success in my own. As is common, things started out a little slow, but began to pick up more quickly as people became more familiar with me, my ethic, integrity and the quality of my work.
It was only a period of months before I landed a project of very significant value and one that we completed very much to the satisfaction of the clients over a period of ten months. The Lord was showing us much grace and we were well on our way to achieving the level of success that I had dreamed of and knew that we had the ability to reach. I determined to make this project a showcase of years of accumulated knowledge and skill. I realized that after having spent quite a bit of money to develop the plans that they held, the owners of the project were disappointed with them. Knowing the considerable amount of money that they were about to spend to build something they weren't really excited about, I took it upon myself to begin redesigning the project as close as their budget would allow to their dreams. It was a tremendous amount of work which also required that I recalculate the costs according to all of the changes. Knowing that it was my intention to use this project as a glowing example of my ability and a springboard into other similar work, I worked the numbers hard and cut the profit of the job well down in order to make it something extraordinary. In the end, the clients were ecstatic and the project drew a fair amount of attention.
But while it was in progress, the project was all consuming. When I wasn't on the job, I was shuffling its paperwork after hours and simultaneously trying to keep up with payroll and things at home. With little time to pay any attention to the rest of the world, I was pretty much oblivious to the fact that the national economy was falling into a recession deeper than anything I had seen in my lifetime. I heard rumors, little bits and pieces of bad news, but assumed it was the normal cyclic tremors experienced periodically in the construction world of the northwestern U.S.. I was confident we'd be alright given my work ethic, skill level and management expertise. I was not prepared for what I was about to discover to say the least.
As the project marched forward successfully, we had begun increasing our household to a much more comfortable level than the close-to-the-bone budget level we had maintained for years. We could now finance and drive the new cars and have the kinds of things that we could only watch others enjoy for years, so we started making those kinds of commitments. What time we did have to spend in any kind of leisure was not spent prudently following the wisdom of the book of Proverbs, studying scripture or thanking the Lord for His tremendous blessings. It was spent self indulgently and focused elsewhere. It was a euphoric new high we were experiencing and one that my wife and I had worked so many very hard years to get to ... but it didn't last.
Nearing the successful end of this large project I began resourcing to find new job leads only to find that there were none. I called all of my contacts and sources only to find that they were all equally alarmed. Over the next year I was able to secure some work, but it was only when I was willing to do the work for sums well below the actual value. In an effort to keep my crew together and the company alive until things picked up again, I reinvested anything and everything I could back into the company. Construction typically has its ups and downs in the Pacific Northwest so I intended to just weather it out. I didn't realize at the time that the national economy had hit the bottom hard and wasn't coming back any time soon in our area.
A few months later I found myself commiserating over an experience that had cost me dearly in terms of finances. It, I thought, had started the financial downfall of my house and helped to land me deeply in debt that I was now struggling to find a way to repay. I had been praying earnestly for the Lord to help me out of the financial mess that I was in and was feeling deeply hurt to have been used by a client that claimed to know our Lord. I had worked in construction for many years. The Lord had blessed me with talents and knowledge over time to be able to bless others and I was grateful to have the ability to bring relief and blessing to others through these gifts as I toiled to do my part to support my family. But this one particular person had taken deep advantage of the talents the Lord had given me and was very strategic and usurious in his dealings with me and admitted it. I knew it at the time that he was doing it, but because of the circumstances surrounding the situation at the time, I was without much choice to do anything but to appeal to his sense of fairness. Still, at every occasion, instead of feeling that I was dealt with fairly, I felt spitefully used and the receiver of his attitude of self interest.
I was still holding the Lord at arms length and was not living a financial life based on the clear biblical principles and had let my life become subject to demands of the world based on a life of debt. We'd consciously allowed ourselves to become slaves. If we wanted something, we bought it with every intention of paying for it over time. We had become worldly consumers living out our desires by means of credit and had set ourselves up for a devastating fall. We were not in obedience to His instruction and the outcome was predictable. We had allowed ourselves to become the slaves of a different master.
Around the same time, the sudden and early deaths of both my dad and my father-in-law, coupled with the fact that my grandfather - my dad's dad had died suddenly and early when my dad was only ten, had begun to haunt me. In the back of my mind I began to wonder if I was next. As I approached an age closer to that of those I'd lost suddenly, I began to have a much more stronger feeling of foreboding. Still clinging to a resident fear of the God I knew, and carrying the guilt of the wrong things I had done in life so far, it became more of a certainty in my own mind. It affected my thoughts about the future and about my God. I couldn't have imagined at the time how right and yet how wrong I was simultaneously about both my own expected early death and also about Him. It would take something incredibly powerful to shake me out of feelings that I'd held for so long and to prove anything otherwise, but then ... He knew that ... from His perspective.
***
Proverbs 3:35 (NLT)
"The wise inherit honor, but fools are put to shame!"
***
If the page appears blank and you don't see the post that you're looking for, please scroll up.
I believe that our Creator knew when He created us exactly what we would each need to experience in life to form our individual character to produce a healthy and beautifully unique heart that He longs to hold close for eternity and one that He can savor with pleasure in His kingdom. I think that this may answer in some part why we are allowed to go through some of the things that we may not be particularly excited about in life. I know that for my own part, I've experienced many challenges that I would never have asked to go through. But in each one, I've seen a spiritual benefit when I make an effort to look back at them with His perspective.
You have to remember always that God sees us as the eternal spirits that He created us to be, not as "this one life to live" human flesh we are so often invited to satisfy. So His plans for us are also eternal and are not limited to this short span of our life in the flesh. His teaching, training and correction are toward producing an eternal mature person fit for an enduring relationship with Him in the unending life that was His intention for us from the very beginning. Consequently, I personally discovered that the good and doting Father will sometimes intervene in very uncomfortable ways to protect and correct the children He loves so dearly when they harbor a wrong and possibly damning attitude or perspective - to avoid losing them ...
A particular series of those experiences left an indelible mark on my heart and is a brand that I hope never cools and never fades. It was my Lord's designed purpose to reset and establish my greatest priorities once and for all - to get my head and my heart out of the fog of life and out of a misguided focus ... and to close once and for all the distance that I put between us. At the time it would have been so easy for me to see it as some kind of crushing punishment, but in reality it was His loving effort of extreme grace to correct me... that, is my perspective...
***
Proverbs 3:11-12 (NLT)
11 "My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. 12 For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights".
***
As I mentioned earlier, my wife and I have together, with the Lord's gracious participation, raised a large family of seven children. While in the process, I found that in order to make any progress toward future goals beyond just meeting immediate needs, I felt that I had to try to work harder at it than some and to learn as much as possible. After years of struggling and continually advancing in knowledge and skill in my chosen work, I finally started my own general contracting business which I funded by cashing in my retirement account. For years I had been very successful managing the same kinds of duties this venture would require in positions with other companies, so it made sense that I should have success in my own. As is common, things started out a little slow, but began to pick up more quickly as people became more familiar with me, my ethic, integrity and the quality of my work.
It was only a period of months before I landed a project of very significant value and one that we completed very much to the satisfaction of the clients over a period of ten months. The Lord was showing us much grace and we were well on our way to achieving the level of success that I had dreamed of and knew that we had the ability to reach. I determined to make this project a showcase of years of accumulated knowledge and skill. I realized that after having spent quite a bit of money to develop the plans that they held, the owners of the project were disappointed with them. Knowing the considerable amount of money that they were about to spend to build something they weren't really excited about, I took it upon myself to begin redesigning the project as close as their budget would allow to their dreams. It was a tremendous amount of work which also required that I recalculate the costs according to all of the changes. Knowing that it was my intention to use this project as a glowing example of my ability and a springboard into other similar work, I worked the numbers hard and cut the profit of the job well down in order to make it something extraordinary. In the end, the clients were ecstatic and the project drew a fair amount of attention.
But while it was in progress, the project was all consuming. When I wasn't on the job, I was shuffling its paperwork after hours and simultaneously trying to keep up with payroll and things at home. With little time to pay any attention to the rest of the world, I was pretty much oblivious to the fact that the national economy was falling into a recession deeper than anything I had seen in my lifetime. I heard rumors, little bits and pieces of bad news, but assumed it was the normal cyclic tremors experienced periodically in the construction world of the northwestern U.S.. I was confident we'd be alright given my work ethic, skill level and management expertise. I was not prepared for what I was about to discover to say the least.
As the project marched forward successfully, we had begun increasing our household to a much more comfortable level than the close-to-the-bone budget level we had maintained for years. We could now finance and drive the new cars and have the kinds of things that we could only watch others enjoy for years, so we started making those kinds of commitments. What time we did have to spend in any kind of leisure was not spent prudently following the wisdom of the book of Proverbs, studying scripture or thanking the Lord for His tremendous blessings. It was spent self indulgently and focused elsewhere. It was a euphoric new high we were experiencing and one that my wife and I had worked so many very hard years to get to ... but it didn't last.
Nearing the successful end of this large project I began resourcing to find new job leads only to find that there were none. I called all of my contacts and sources only to find that they were all equally alarmed. Over the next year I was able to secure some work, but it was only when I was willing to do the work for sums well below the actual value. In an effort to keep my crew together and the company alive until things picked up again, I reinvested anything and everything I could back into the company. Construction typically has its ups and downs in the Pacific Northwest so I intended to just weather it out. I didn't realize at the time that the national economy had hit the bottom hard and wasn't coming back any time soon in our area.
A few months later I found myself commiserating over an experience that had cost me dearly in terms of finances. It, I thought, had started the financial downfall of my house and helped to land me deeply in debt that I was now struggling to find a way to repay. I had been praying earnestly for the Lord to help me out of the financial mess that I was in and was feeling deeply hurt to have been used by a client that claimed to know our Lord. I had worked in construction for many years. The Lord had blessed me with talents and knowledge over time to be able to bless others and I was grateful to have the ability to bring relief and blessing to others through these gifts as I toiled to do my part to support my family. But this one particular person had taken deep advantage of the talents the Lord had given me and was very strategic and usurious in his dealings with me and admitted it. I knew it at the time that he was doing it, but because of the circumstances surrounding the situation at the time, I was without much choice to do anything but to appeal to his sense of fairness. Still, at every occasion, instead of feeling that I was dealt with fairly, I felt spitefully used and the receiver of his attitude of self interest.
I was still holding the Lord at arms length and was not living a financial life based on the clear biblical principles and had let my life become subject to demands of the world based on a life of debt. We'd consciously allowed ourselves to become slaves. If we wanted something, we bought it with every intention of paying for it over time. We had become worldly consumers living out our desires by means of credit and had set ourselves up for a devastating fall. We were not in obedience to His instruction and the outcome was predictable. We had allowed ourselves to become the slaves of a different master.
Around the same time, the sudden and early deaths of both my dad and my father-in-law, coupled with the fact that my grandfather - my dad's dad had died suddenly and early when my dad was only ten, had begun to haunt me. In the back of my mind I began to wonder if I was next. As I approached an age closer to that of those I'd lost suddenly, I began to have a much more stronger feeling of foreboding. Still clinging to a resident fear of the God I knew, and carrying the guilt of the wrong things I had done in life so far, it became more of a certainty in my own mind. It affected my thoughts about the future and about my God. I couldn't have imagined at the time how right and yet how wrong I was simultaneously about both my own expected early death and also about Him. It would take something incredibly powerful to shake me out of feelings that I'd held for so long and to prove anything otherwise, but then ... He knew that ... from His perspective.
***
Proverbs 3:35 (NLT)
"The wise inherit honor, but fools are put to shame!"
***
If the page appears blank and you don't see the post that you're looking for, please scroll up.
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