Parallels Of The Mirrored Marriage Parts 3 - 6

Part 3: Parables, Mirrors And Parallels

par·a·ble noun \ˈpa-rə-bəl\

: example; specifically: a usually short fictitious story that illustrates a moral attitude or a religious principle (www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/parable)

1mir·ror noun \ˈmir-ər, mi-rər\

2 a: something that gives a true representation

b: an exemplary model (www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mirror)

1par·al·lel adjective \ˈper-ə-ˌlel, ˈpa-rə-, -ləl\

3a (1): similar, analogous, or interdependent in tendency or development (2): exhibiting parallelism in form, function, or development <parallel evolution>

b: readily compared : companion (www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/parallel)

I'm confident that our God in His infinite wisdom created things that I like to call mirrors and parallels in this life that we're blessed to learn from if we will. Similar to Christ's parables, they're things that exist in this world that reflect or run companion to something in the spiritual reality of our eternal life with our God. They give us opportunities to learn about and prepare for heavenly truths - those realities that exist in the spiritual realm that govern our lives beyond this one. Some simple examples of these are: the relationships between a child and parent, between a man and authorities over him, or ... a husband and wife.

The parallel that I bring to your attention here is one that was intended be held as a sacred one to us while here on earth and one that was instituted and recorded by our God. It mirrors it's Heavenly parallel companion - the immeasurably more sacred relationship that exists between us and our God. Both are the marriage relationship.

The real nature of our relationship to our Lord and it's mirror/parallel may be something that we might not necessarily think about enough to grasp the reality and true context of. But understanding that relationship is absolutely critical if we want to understand God's heart, the reality of our true eternal position in His kingdom and be successful in marriage as well. That understanding may well help to clarify the reason for God's jealousy for us and His position throughout the history of scripture in the minds of some who desperately seek to touch His heart while still here on the earth...

I would challenge you to consider what my heart longs to share here with my brothers and sisters in Christ and test it. God's wisdom never fails when employed sincerely and completely - but also recognize that a successful marriage relationship requires that these things be employed by both parties - it's true of our earthly marriages and it's also true of our critically important eternal relationship with our God. The earthly being intended to become a a reflected image of the eternal. He's the example and source of the qualities and character our relatioship with Him must have in order to be whole - and that our relationships with one another must have in order to have the blessed success that our God intended.

If you think about it carefully, (assuming that you've read it in it's entirety) the Bible is a complete, omniscient and divinely authored book regarding marriage - ours to Him. It's history at times revealing heart breaking examples of unfaithfulness and broken imperfection on the part of man and the undying love and faithfulness of the true and sincere lover who won't give up on the object of His affections. These mirror conditions that can exist in our marriages here as well. The Bible reveals that our God is the one perfect lover who made opportunity for reconciliation and restoration in the relationship despite our many failures. The Bible's examples of God's character and heart are perfect and ones that we can follow to create successful relationships here even between imperfect beings. From cover to cover, it gives us instruction and encouragement to live successfully in the marriage relationship - in essence it's the ultimate and divine how-to-make marriage work manual. The value of it's unlimited and perfect wisdom doesn't only apply to the ultimately sacred relationship between us and our God. It's also perfectly successful in the earthly parallel of that ultimate relationship. The one that we live out while we prepare for the eternal one by learning and practicing on each other in marriage relationships here on earth. The Bible stands as the perfect guide and recipe for perfect marriage relationships.

But be forewarned - As any professional chef likely would tell you, the exact replication of any successful recipe is only successful when the whole recipe is followed. Selectively choosing to follow only those portions of the recipe that you like and disregarding or ignoring the others will not result in producing the same replicated success - it may well in fact lead to disaster. The heart of what I mean here is this: If we follow Christ's instruction only in the things that appeal to our ego or desires, then we can't hope to replicate and represent Christ's spirit and heart to our marriage partner. Ergo on the ultimate scale, our oneness of spirit with Christ will be defective also. In marriage, we're dependent on each other to be equally committed to follow the recipe together in order to have a successful outcome. Both marriage partners have to be exactly that - committed partners - in order to achieve the level of marriage success available to us by following Christ's example and teachings.

As a Christian our goal is always to represent Christ in growing measure as we become transformed by the Word, the Holy Spirit and the tender love, mercies and grace of our Lord. This makes us natural candidates for success in our relationship with our marriage partner if we're truly in submission to His molding and transforming work. As we're transformed into a clearer image of Christ in preparation for our eternal future with Him, we become a clearer reflection of the most perfect partner in life that anyone could ask for. Our efforts in relationship to Christ will have an unavoidable effect on the parallel relationship with our earthly partner... mirrors and parallels. Our ability to reflect Christ to each other within our intimate marriage relationship has a direct affect on our success within that relationship - Who truly knowing Christ could not be drawn to Him like steel to a magnet and love Him deeply??? The perfect recipe for a match who's origin was made in heaven!!!

Part 4 Mirroring His Spirit

Because we've read and studied the Word of our Lord (right?), let's think about what we know about him generally:

Christ is the image of perfection in every possible reflection. As the Son of God, He is perfect in His relationship to the Father. He is obedient, faithful, selfless, and pure in character. The fruit of His Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. His is the image that any parent would find totally acceptable and be blessed to find reflected in their child.

As a Savior and a brother, He lived His life on the earth without regard for His own gain or pleasure. He lived selflessly having a clear perspective of the purpose for His life on earth - to please the Father. He had the humility to place above His own interests the value that Father God placed on His estranged children - you and me. Mankind had already failed the requirements necessary to live eternally in God's presence and the Father's heart was broken by our separation from His righteousness and the consequential estrangement. His anger burned against the source of the estrangement - our unfaithfulness represented by sin. But because of His unequaled faithfulness His love never faded. So during the years before Christ's intervention on the earth, our Father God suffered what was the irreconcilable agony of a pure and perfect lover in relationship with the unfaithful object of His affections.

Hosea is a small, but so very important book of the Old Testament that consists of 14 Chapters - some of them very short. But the relational things to be learned are huge. The first part of the book of Hosea on it's face describes (the earthly parallel) the relationship between Hosea and the wife that he was instructed by God to take - a prostitute. The deeper parallel (the spiritual reality) to that story is that it mirrored the relationship between God's people (represented by Gomer) and God Himself. This story is also yet another true parallel as it pertains to our relationship with Christ. The unfaithful Gomer having fallen so far as to become a slave, was purchased back by Hosea. This reflects and parallels the truth of our relationship with Christ, who purchased and redeemed us from slavery to sin and Father God's disapproval of us at the very high price of His own life.

But I believe that there is yet another aspect of this story - something that perhaps not everyone catches the significance of. By following God's direction to marry a prostitute, Hosea's heart was connected to God's in a way that had to have made Hosea very compassionate toward God and that was very revealing to his understanding of the Lord's heart and suffering at the time. God Himself had chosen as His own a people that prostituted themselves to "other God's" and teachings that were contrary to what the Lord had told them. Father God had embraced them, shared with them, blessed them, invested Himself in them ... and they betrayed Him to His face. This is a story that reflects many marriages all over this globe ... and one that still exists between our God and some of His people.

It's easy to read God's word with earthly understanding and go on - not unlike the failure of some marriage partners to hear the heartfelt issues of their spouse and yet go about their business unaffected. To put yourself in the shoes of your marriage partner and feel what they feel ... isn't always convenient or comfortable. But it's what's required to truly participate in an engaged relationship. It's necessary to our understanding of our partners heart and often the reasons behind their position. Hosea by his obedience became engaged with what God was feeling - he could feel the pain of his Father God as he experienced it himself - the pain of infidelity - adultery in the face of sincere love. He could now relate to the Lord's heart with great understanding at the time. Hosea's experiences with Gomer made his heart tender to the plight of God's in His own relationship with Israel.

The reality is that we are all Gomer redeemed:

Romans 3:23

"For all have sinned; all fall short of God's glorious standard."

If perhaps one were to feel that Paul's reference was too distant or impersonal to them and didn't allow them to feel the weight of their previous position before God, how about the words of our brother James in this one:

James 2:10-14

10 "And the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as the person who has broken all of God's laws. 11 For the same God who said, "Do not commit adultery," also said, "Do not murder." So if you murder someone, you have broken the entire law, even if you do not commit adultery. 12 So whenever you speak, or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law of love, the law that set you free. 13 For there will be no mercy for you if you have not been merciful to others. But if you have been merciful, then God's mercy toward you will win out over his judgment against you. 14 Dear brothers and sisters, what's the use of saying you have faith if you don't prove it by your actions? That kind of faith can't save anyone."

Without Christ, our future is grim ...

But now, in light of the truth of our position before God and His forgiveness, our resultant humility, gratitude and repentance should have a deep effect not only in our relationship to Him, but should also be reflected in every relationship, including marriage, that involves true Christians. We were all guilty - none better than the other. We were all destined to die eternally ... and we all receive mercy and grace ... daily.

Because of His love for the Father, Christ loves and values what the Father loves and values. Because He loved both the Father and us, He sacrificed all in graphic and terrible cost to bring about the opportunity for our reconciliation. He is the perfect example of a savior, a son, a brother, ... and a marriage partner - our perfect example in every station in life.

Part 5: The Choice We Reflect

We know that Christ on more than one occasion is referred to as the Bridegroom in scripture and that His Church (us) is His Bride:

2 Corinthians 11:2

I am jealous for you with the jealousy of God himself. For I promised you as a pure bride to one husband, Christ.

Our lives in this world are temporary by God's word and by His word we don't belong here - we're foreigners here. In the eternal reality of God's viewpoint we belong to Him and we belong with Him. But for now, we learn in preparation and anticipation of the return of the Bridegroom coming for us, His Church - His Bride. But while we wait, we're not alone ...

At the root of all conflict, there are two spirits that currently exist among mankind. We will serve, and our lives will reflect without exception ... one or the other.

Matthew 6:24

"No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

To serve our God requires an active choice. Serving ourselves or the spirit of the world amount to the same failed choice. Our failure to actively choose to live for our God and actively live out that choice demonstrated by our life and spirit leaves us in the world's camp by default.

Galatians 5:19-26

19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, your lives will produce these evil results: sexual immorality, impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure, 20 idolatry, participation in demonic activities, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, divisions, the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other kinds of sin. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. 22 But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. 25 If we are living now by the Holy Spirit, let us follow the Holy Spirit's leading in every part of our lives. 26 Let us not become conceited, or irritate one another, or be jealous of one another.

The current drumbeat of the worldly spirit and teaching is individuality, self importance and self gratification - sexual immorality, impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure, idolatry, participation in demonic activities, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, divisions, the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other kinds of sin. This thinking sets the stage for division, pride and selfishness and is directly contrary to our Lord's spirit and teaching - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Our Lord, through His word and by His own example teaches us the qualities of His spirit - unity, humility and selflessness.

Some of the best examples of the resulting collisions between the two spirits are easily found in earthly marriage relationships. Where individuality is stressed, true marriage bonds do not form and unity will most often become a casualty. There’s no I in we and no we in I. Where self importance is present, unity again suffers and the seeds of resentment, competition, pride and division can easily find fertile ground. Unity and marital bonding are again among self gratification's victims and want, need and discord are just a few of the seeds that can easily take root. In every case, the world's spirit and thinking crucifies love in one way or another. By design the world's teaching is in our face constantly in every form of media and echoed by it's many followers, so it's no mystery that so many of the world's marriages struggle. Our marriages become much more fruitful and successful when we realize that the battle against solid marriage relationships is not between us as marriage partners, but conjoined against a worldly spirit and thinking.

Ephesians 6:12

"For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms."

If marital bonds are not growing as a natural and divinely predictable result of our reflection and representation of Christ's spirit to one another, then the spirit of the world has an open invitation to gain a foothold in our marriage. It's true in our marriage with one another ... and it's true of our relationship with our beloved God. In this life, we do reflect one spirit or the other. Are we reflecting the spirit of unity ( love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control), or the spirit of division (sexual immorality, impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure, idolatry, participation in demonic activities, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, divisions, the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other kinds of sin) to our to our marriage partner (wife/husband, God)?

In our marriages on this earth, having formerly been Gomer in our relationship to our God, we as Christians now have the opportunity to represent Christ to our spouses as Paul exhorted us:

Ephesian 5 21-25

25 " And further, you will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church; he gave his life to be her Savior. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything. 25 And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her."

The spirit we choose to reflect will have an unavoidable effect on our relationships. As Christians having once been the condemned, we now have the opportunity to reflect Christ's heart as husbands and wives as we work on our marriage skills and prepare ourselves as the bride of Christ for our eternal marriage in the glory of His presence. Christ "gave up His life for her." What does that mean exactly in reflection to our earthly marriage. I'm sure there are many hot blooded young men who would likely jump to declare that they would lay down their lives for their wife. I did it too... but to them I would say that in reality, Jesus laid down His life twice for her. Are you willing to do that? (Some might be scratching their head about now ...) I'll explain in the next section ...

Part 6: Reflections Intertwined
 

I think every true Christian understands that Christ sacrificed His life for His Bride on the cross. But there's another element of sacrifice that's not quite as popularly touted. From the moment of His humble appearance on this planet in the flesh of man, the King of Glory's life here was dedicated to one purpose: His bride. Every moment of His selfless life was dedicated not to Himself, but to His Bride. So of every Christian man and every Christian woman, I would ask you this: are you prepared to lay down what remains of your life for your spouse, second only to God? That's what Christ did! If you think about it, it shouldn't be too hard to see that two people in an earthly marriage each following Christ's selfless example and dedicating their lives to meet the needs of the other will both find their needs met. But something else happens at the same time. As each of them reach across the void that would keep them separate to meet the needs of the other selflessly, they draw together and become bonded to one another.

Not only do they create a bond, but also a trusting dependence on the other to meet their needs that acts as the binding cement that keeps it strong. When they come to achieve this level of selflessness they're no longer individual. They're now one functioning entity in the uniting spirit of Christ's selflessness - a mirror and parallel of our dependence and unity that's intended to exist in our relationship with our God.

Unlike us, we know our God is perfect. Being perfect, we know that He can function perfectly without us. He chooses to allow Himself to love us deeply and by this He allows Himself to need us. We on the other hand can't live without Him - literally. We're a needy creation, created imperfect, but perfectly created to fit our Sovereign God's plan for eternal marriage. So this is where the parallel in the relationships fails to meet. But in every other way, our earthly marriages are intended to reflect a far more holy and eternal relationship - ours to our God. By our submission to our God in relationship to Him and selflessly seeking to meet the needs that He allows Himself to have, we find ourselves made whole.

As we recognize our dependence on, and need for all that God is and offers us, we can't help but be drawn to Him. Similarly, by reflecting Christ's spirit and submitting to one another to find our needs met in our marriages, we find ourselves drawn to one another - we also find ourselves practicing submission to our God! From learning to succeed in one relationship we find ourselves in training to succeed in the other. If we practice marriage here in the way God intended, we find ourselves in preparation for the eternal main event!

Our marriages here on earth are an opportunity to learn and to practice conformity and unity in a relationship that as Christians we're destined to experience on an eternal and much higher scale than our marriages on earth. Jesus isn't into the whole shredding, ripping and tearing of hearts and spirits that occurs in the separation of one into two. I believe that the dysfunctional causes that lead to these kinds of separation center around the failure of one or both members of a sacred marriage relationship to employ Christ's examples and teachings in their earthly "mirror marriage" as they learn and prepare for the marriage that we were ultimately created for.