Yes... Liver! It always blesses and amazes me to think about how clearly and succinctly our Lord communicates with us what He wants to say. As for myself, I realize that I have the unfortunate propensity to over emphasize or repeatedly attempt to articulate the same thing in different ways. Those who've read my previous dialogue are probably not unaware. But the message is always so passionately gripping in my heart that I sometimes get a little overwhelmed in the attempt of expression. But not so, with the Master! As in everything else, He is also clearly the Master of communication. Communication is what I want people to focus on in this article, not me. I'm just using something in my life as a means of example to illustrate something more important.
Before we go any further though, please let me say this in all sincerity, I do not claim to be anything but grateful for our God's mercy. My example in this life has been marred by my own imperfection and I remain humbled by the recognition that I am only justified by Christ's sacrifice and still have much to learn and apply in my own life. My life only has eternal value because of what Christ has invested in it. I'll refer to this as rule #1 anytime someone is reading something I've written. So, with this in mind let's move on ...
This is about having an actual relationship in spite of whatever else might be gleaned from it. We tend to place high value on the communications of those closest to us. We value what they have to say because of the value we place on them. If I didn't listen to my wife for example, I know that our relationship would be in trouble in short order. I love her, so I listen to her. So why would I expect that I should put any less effort into my relationship with my God? Even greater should our efforts be in hearing the voice of our Lord in order to have two way communication and true relationship with Him. We can't know or intimately interact with anyone we're not willing to invest in in some way or another. This is no less true of our relationship with our God. If we are to know what His interests or concerns are, we have to interact with Him and be willing to listen to what He has to say.
Sometimes in my own relationship with Him, it seems as though truths and answers are held by some intangible combination lock for which the Lord provides digits to the combination at times of His own choosing. At times, things that might seem insignificant, will surface that a watchful heart will recognize as another tumbler falling in the lock. It's then that a vigilant heart begins to experience anticipation knowing that it's close to something, even if it can't know exactly what it is. At this point, I usually find myself resisting the impulse to guess what might be coming and waiting upon the Lord for that last digit to be revealed to expose whatever truth He may wish to impart. Occasionally, this last digit, the missing piece of the puzzle, can be as simple as a singular word.
For example, I had the distinct pleasure of receiving a voice mail message on my phone yesterday from a very dear brother in Christ, whom I trust to have God's heart and one who leads by respectable diligence in example as a disciple of Christ. I was driving at the time the call came, so I didn't answer it. This is something I was glad for later, because it was now recorded, which allowed me to listen to it repeatedly. He didn't really indicate that he seemed to know how it applied to me. But as soon as I heard what he had to say, I knew who it was from and what it meant. It was a response to my questioning and part of an ongoing conversation.
I've been quietly seeking the Lord for months, wondering about my place in the body of Christ and what it is that He desires from me that will allow me to bless His heart and more fully fulfill His plan for my life. I would be completely happy just to know that I was at least a little toe, or maybe even a toenail or some other less critical component - to have confirmation that I was at least a part. This is important in this writing, because it reveals something I'm waiting for His reply on and therefore is a relevant part of my story here.
"Lord, who am I?" It's continued to be a nagging question in my heart as I try to settle into an understanding of how He desires me to function within the body in order to be a blessing to His own heart. At one point, I was drawn to the word apostle because of it's relevance to Paul, but no tumbler fell - I didn't feel the confirmation in my heart that this was what He wanted me to focus on. As I look at Paul though, what struck me the most about Him and his ministry, was not his title, but his recurrent admonishment of the existing church and disciples to adhere to the perspective and word of our Lord. This I saw as the necessary maintenance and continuing purification of the the existing body in preparation for closer true relationship with Him, consistent with His deepest desire. Because of the nature of His character, we must be conformed to have likeness to His character in order to relate to Him and fulfill His deepest desire - our companionship and relationship. He's pure! But imperfect beings that we are, surrounded by the worlds' impurity, we find ourselves in a continual struggle for purification from the filth our enemy tries to smother us with in this world. It's as if he's attempting to drown us in busy detail, half truth (which is the equivalent of falsehood, because any way you cut it, it's less than the truth) and outright spiritual garbage. What strikes me as most significant in this struggle is what our efforts say to our Lord without any obscurity - our efforts in this battle speak to Him the truth of our deepest desires. Either that we sincerely desire to be close to Him, or ... something else. But our Lord gave me an interest and indeed even an attraction to this part of Pauls' ministry, so I knew there was something significant here - just one instance among others where a tumbler fell.
I try to note my first reactions to something presented to me as a word from the Lord because sometimes the clearest discernment and most relevant application is received in the thoughts immediately accompanying the "word" and the Holy Spirit immediately bears witness to the origin. In this case there were two things that struck me immediately as I listened to the message, and as I searched for other meaning later, I was struck by the obscurity of other definitions available to me. It almost seemed as though my ability to interpret otherwise was intentionally limited in favor of the message I first received upon hearing it. The message from my brother was that he had something that he wanted me to look up in the Bible. It was a word for me ... and the word was ... liver! His instruction continued: "See the depths of God's heart in how He cares for people and the processes they go through and that the liver takes away the toxins in our lives. See what you come up with...". I didn't have to wait, the response came immediately - I heard another tumbler fall into place and a possible truth opened up in my mind and my heart simultaneously (... rule #1!... this is something I will continue to discuss with Him without presumption other than belief in what He continues to tell me). These things both came to me immediately as I listened to the message, so I'm simply relating my honest first reaction. I'll relate first the immediate messages that came with the word and then explain how they were immediately applied.
First, the word itself is commonly used to describe a vital organ that removes toxins, in even simpler terms, poisons that would bring about our death if not removed by the liver. This is a huge responsibility which requires close connection to the flow of the heart. But secondly, perhaps strangely, the word can be broken into syllables to reveal another possible meaning. (by now, I hope you remember the rule...)
In regards to the first definition: I've said it before in my writings in different ways, and will continue to speak it until I have no breath because it's amongst the deepest God given convictions of my heart and of His - in this world where deception and complacency have become commonplace, our God searches urgently and with great passion for proof of hearts that value His purpose in our creation above all else that we could value. He searches with passion for hearts that are searching with like passion for His. With a broken heart, He finds that even amongst those who claim to be among the body of Christ, there is complacency and words - words that lack true conviction to become action and thereby become revealing proof of the naked truth. So much poison!
The term Apostle is derived from the New Testament Greek word apostolos, meaning one who is sent forth as a messenger. The term disciple means one who is a follower or student who learns from a teacher (credit to Wikipedia). I find myself desiring to fulfill both of these definitions and find confirmation in both (rule #1). But I realized some time ago that my attraction to Paul was not his title, but the function that I saw him performing. It spoke to my own heart and I felt drawn to it as a calling on my own life - to remove impurity and enable "life". This is something our Lord has spoken into my own life as urgent. So are you beginning to see what this word spoke to me? I think ... I may be a ... liver.
The 2nd definition that immediately came to my mind as I listened, was the word broken into syllables - live(er) as if to define one who "lives". To me, "living" is something totally different than living. Sounds like a pretty dumb statement huh? But to me, to "live" is to be spiritually alive, which is something Christ Himself made reference to on more than one occasion. We can be alive in our flesh in this world and at the same time, dead spiritually. We can only "live" by relationship with our God. So I took it as confirmation to my heart that He agrees that I "live". It's merely a simple acknowledgment between us, part of our ongoing conversations.
The important thing that I want you to see, is that He answers. But just as we have to listen to another in order to have conversation, we have to listen for His response also. Conversation is critical to have a relationship and listening with expectation of a reply is critical to have conversation. If I make a request, or speak something of meaning to Him, He will respond. But if I'm not expecting an answer, not looking and listening for it, I'll be oblivious to, and likely ignoring His response. I don't like it when people ignore me, so I don't expect that He likes it either. The difference here of course is that what I have to say could never equal the value of what our God might say. I'm the real benefactor here ... if I listen! He doesn't always answer in the time we may impatiently allow, but His answers are always timely and perfectly timed. I don't know about anyone else, but I really don't think that I have any right to be impatient with the majestic and all-powerful God of the universe. So, I wait patiently and expectantly, knowing all the while that His answers and His conversations with me are worth more than anything else I can imagine. So I watch ... and I listen. As much as I speak, I listen for His reply. This is conversation and engaging relationship. One Master and one willing servant, each in love with the other and holding a life long conversation while enjoying each others' company. We enable it in part, when we're willing to listen expectantly and patiently!
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