"If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the LORD..." Jeremiah 29:13-14 (NLT)
God's granted me a lot of grace and a lot of time to get to know Him. And from the time that I received my first King James bible at eight years old, curiosity has led me down a path of discovery that's spanned a number of decades. It was a struggle at first - trying to understand the old English of that first bible, but I found it hard to put it down. I came to have a dreading fear of God from so many troubling passages of scripture that I'd read, but was conflicted because there were so many other passages that spoke of love and kindness that I'd read as well. What did it all mean? Who is this God? Could I ever be good enough? I needed to know...
Because I was reading with a child's eyes and understanding in my discovery quest and without more mature guidance as I read, I came away from some of those long reading interludes with only more fear. Trying to suck the meaning out of those chapters of God's powerful dealings with Israel and the harshness of some of His directives to them and translating the old text in my youmg mind was often hard. And without more mature understanding the experience left me with a persistent fear of being struck down because I knew I was far from perfect and it was a fear that I carried with me for a number of years. I had grave respect for God's power to crush me, but was conflicted at the same time by His expressions of love that were also present. It was only with persistence, maturity, and by engaging and experiencing Him personally that my perspective was ever changed from one of fear to one of deep and enduring love for Him. Over time, I found that my efforts were more than a little rewarded by coming to know His true loving nature and person.
People who seek half-heartedly or insincerely may never know the overwhelming power and beauty of God's true person. They may never feel the awesome and indescribable power of His presence or find themselves awash in the immeasurable depths of His love and kindness. They may never see the grace in His provision or see the answers to their prayers come in miraculous ways that were never imagined. They may never experience Him in real time... but I have - all of these things.
Seeking with sincerity and courage and then having a heart of submission are keys needed to experience the life that God planned for us. But sadly in a proud, lustful, and insincere society, they run counter to a more popular culture. Because of that, many will never know what they were created to find or have the relationship with God that they were born to experience. The inner loneliness and empty space in their core will never be filled with the wonder that brings completeness and finally satisfies the gnawing drive to find Him that they were purposefully created with. They may never know the relief of a past completely forgiven and forgotten by the only true judge that really matters and begin to live a life without any true condemnation... but I have - all of these things.
I've learned many things over time and among those is the fact that some things will likely never be understood unless they're viewed from God's perspective - and that only comes by seeking to know Him and how He sees things and by the revelation of the Holy Spirit as He allows. Once again though, in a hurry up society with little time to devote to a myriad of distractions, taking the time to seek God out sincerely goes against the grain of so much of current culture. But it's so far more than worth it.
"Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you." Psalm 143:8 (NLT)
We might say a few words, do some good deeds, offer up a prayer once in a while and maybe even attend services devoted to studying about God, but unless we truly seek Him out with a passion to know Him and then surrender ourselves to what He requires... we may still never know Him. All of those things we might do otherwise are good in proper context, but unless we're sincere and persistent in our effort to know Him we may never be struck by His amazing passion for us and be drawn continually to know Him more. I've learned that what makes the difference between a passive effort and a wholehearted, living relationship ... is nothing less than a heart condition.
"No, O people, the LORD has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8 (NLT)
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