I Refuse...

My life is in some part a history of past failures. It's record contains a variety of moments when decisions, words and actions made in the past brought home their own foretold reward. But as I move forward to navigate what remains of this life, there's one mistake I refuse to make and it breaks my heart to think that I may be watching some others making it...

Sometimes in ignorance and others in unthinking disregard, some of my decisions, words and actions in those past moments have run counter to the wealth of wisdom contained in the grace of biblical scripture. And each of those occasions in prophetically declared certainty, whether in immediate or eventual reward, has often carried with it a knowable price. Living in conflict with what we've been instructed biblically often brings a knowable and certain cost to our lives. The details and particulars of that cost in some instances may not be clear to us in how they will play out, but the burden of a price is most usually certain. For myself there's one burden I refuse to carry and one mistake I refuse to make... 

I refuse to refuse to engage with Christ - I refuse to walk through this life without continual, close and intimate relationship with the One who changes everything. 

I refuse to spiritually couch surf through this life and willingly deny both the identity and the reward of relationship with my God that Christ paid such a high price to purchase for me. I refuse to waste the selfless sacrifice and horrific suffering that He endured to save my life and deny Him the very thing that He created me for - relationship. I refuse to reject His divine courtship and invitation to walk with Him and to enjoy an engaged and intimate relationship with Him daily. I refuse to give up the opportunity to be empowered by the inhabitation of the Holy Spirit working divinely through my life in ways that have the ability to touch the lives of others in meaningful ways and that give my own life a meaning beyond any other I could imagine.

I refuse to accept the option of a hollow, meaningless life without His continual, intimate closeness. Having tasted the unimaginable sweetness and awesomeness of His presence and character... I refuse to be without it.

It's possible to say the right things that lead to salvation - accepting Christ as one's Savior and mean them fully, but then leave Him behind and ignore His presence. But in my heart that would be near to the greatest mistake - to commit to the greatest possible and divine romance that one could possibly know... and then commit to ignore and rebuff that same greatest possible, perfect lover and protector - Christ.

We know that to reject Him outright in the end is death. But we also know that we were created by Him for Himself. So to deny Him the joy of relationship with us that He seeks even right now, could only be folly still and would leave us in misery with a longing we were created with... that only He can fill. But beyond that, we would be punishing ourselves foolishly- rejecting the joys, wonders and blessings of walking with Him moment by moment.

To live this life without His constant companionship - without His continual counsel, direction, healing, wisdom, love, blessing and refinement? It's foolishness ... and I refuse!!!