The Price Of Intimacy

In a world rife with challenge, threatening possibilities and readily available offense it can easily become second nature to develop a habitually defensive and aloof posture. We're learning to choose our words and craft our conversation more carefully in order to avoid unintentionally offending the sensitivities of others in an environment that sometimes seems overtly sensitive and anxious to challenge. In that kind of environment putting up invisible walls between ourselves and other people or an endless number of other things can become second nature. Conversations can become frivolous and blatantly surface level - devoid of any depth or transfer of life and I would guess that in some cases this might not necessarily be a critical issue depending on the situation. I'm not attempting to comment on those kinds of situations here ... with one exception.

I've met a few followers of Christ over time that seem to lack a certain spark, twinkle in their eye or evident passion when they talk about things related to their creator. I'm not judging them or their relationship with Him, I'm not equipped to do that. But in some observation, listening to them talk I can't help but notice that I don't see any sign that somewhere inside is a true deep passion or hear that certain tender fondness in their voice that belies a knowing and living intimacy with our God ... and my heart sinks. It's not that I'm judging their salvation or anything like that. It's because I've met Him in complete and total surrender with nothing held back and nothing hidden, my head bowed and my spirit exposed in complete nakedness. I had given up everything - any value to possessions, my pride, my past, my present, my rights, my wrongs, my everything ... and He met me with an indescribable grace and passion that changed me in deep ways forever. That experience hasn't ended and I pray that it never does. It's become "a relationship made in Heaven".

James 4:8 NLT
"Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world."

Our God's the author and creator of the universe, He's bigger than we can even imagine. He's the possessor of power more terrible than anything that man has ever witnessed to date and a standard of righteousness and justice that's far higher than we have the ability alone to achieve while living in the field of His inescapable gaze. But when we come to meet Him as He asks - in complete and selfless honesty, acknowledging Him for all that He is, confessing our failures and weaknesses and surrendering all ... the grace, love and intimacy He shares with us can be indescribable and life altering.

But some Christians that I meet appear to seem more like a participant in the beginning days of a prearranged marriage in that the commitment is present - similar to submissive obedience to the requirements of tradition, but the bonds of trust and knowing intimacy haven't had a chance to develop. Their conversation about their betrothed may be true and in respectful good light, but the sign of true passion that's almost impossible to fully contain isn't seen or heard. I always feel a pang of sadness when I sense that, especially in someone who's followed Christ for a while, because it's indeed tragic if it's true. Again, I'm no judge to say one way or the other if it is. But if it is, it could mean that they may be missing out on the whole rewarding point of the journey.

Once the marriage ceremony is over and the relationship entered into, the next thing of course is to begin to come to know ones marriage partner more intimately. And I'm not just talking about head knowledge - you can obviously do that by reading a book written about them or by listening to the conversation of someone who knows them well. But to begin to know them first hand by experiencing them emotionally, spiritually and in every way that you can properly know them is something altogether different. To witness their presence, their voice, expressions and character in person begins to offer a first hand knowledge and presents opportunities to share things personally and privately. In a mutually committed and loving relationship with a trustworthy partner you share things and learn to trust and over time intimacy and deeper trust develop. As they do, joy in that proper relationship and an abiding passion can grow to overshadow other relationships and things in life to become an inseparable and integral part of ones core.

There are a number reasons why a lack of intimacy with our God might exist and as I've said before, I'm not attempting to stand in judgment. I spent years not really experiencing what it means to walk with Him in real, close relationship. It took circumstances that left me no where else to turn and with nothing left to lose before I found myself on my face before Him in complete surrender. In my own understanding, He knew what was needed to truly bend my knees before Him and His orchestration of certain circumstances while allowing me simultaneously to sink my own figurative boat was an act of love intended to bring me back and to deliver exactly what my heart was in desperate need and search of. But circumstances in life don't have to come to such a dramatic climax in order to experience the pure relief and wonder of meeting Him in honesty on His terms. He already knows the truth, but our willingness to be honest with Him and ourselves is paramount. My heart breaks for anyone who suffers from a lack of intimacy in their relationship with Christ, because the real reward in any effort to follow Him is in the intimacy of that relationship and the real fruit that we're seeking to see produced in our lives will blossom there.

Those same barriers that we use to screen out, hold at arms length or defend ourselves from other people can also be used even unintentionally against our Lord. We have that choice to hold Him at a distance and attempt to experience Him in a surface relationship. But if we choose to hold Him at arms length we're cheating Him out of the very purpose that He created us for ... and depriving ourselves at the same time. He created us for His pleasure and our purpose is to serve Him. What we discover in truly attempting to fulfill that purpose is that because of His character and who He is, serving Him becomes our abiding joy. In a sense, we become beneficiaries of our own service through interaction with His awesome and beautiful character. But we only find intimacy with Him on His terms and a part of that requires that we always remember that He is God and we are not - constantly giving all deference to His authority and position in this universe that He created.

When the day comes that we stand before the Father, will Christ be able to say that He "knows" us? Will our following of Him have been an act of book knowledge and casual estranged relationship? Or will it have been living, real and intimate? As we might expose ourselves in hopeful trust to someone we want to get to know intimately in marriage, the beginning of the intimate knowledge of Christ requires nothing less. The barriers have to come down and then honesty with ourselves and with Him will begin to create the healing, loving, peaceful and joyful intimacy with the perfect partner that in our hearts we were created to desire and that no one else can satisfy.

Society has become a rising dust cloud of self sufficiency, self promotion and self absorption. But one day the air will be cleared and that dust cloud blown completely away. On that day, everything and everyone will stand to be exposed for what and who they truly are. We'll be seen for who we are as exposed against the measure of our God's standards and what we have valued will be clear and compared against what He values and the very purpose that He created us for. We did not create ourselves or endow ourselves with gifts and abilities and the failure to give credit where credit is due could one day become our ultimate embarrassment as the truth is exposed to all and we come face to face with the One who did. Confessing our dependence on His grace and our gratitude for what we've been given as well as making sure that all credit is properly placed on Him is merely an act of embracing the truth. Misplaced pride could become a stumbling block that creates an affront and prevents the intimacy with Him that we both desire and need. Our success in this life is and always will be completely dependent on our submission to accept His terms ...

Psalm 138:6 (NLT)
"Though the LORD is great, he cares for the humble, but he keeps his distance from the proud."

In a world that is constantly chaotic and potentially dangerous, He is the immovable shelter that offers us lasting contentment and peace and His ear and His heart are constantly inclined to our deepest desires and issues. And while circumstances may appear to betray them, His responses are always aimed toward our eternal best interest and are perfect in their effect. No partner could be more selfless toward, or intimately interested in the object of His desire. But there is a cost. The price of intimacy with the ultimate eternal partner is true and honest investment in that spiritual marriage relationship. Truly submitting all that we are as followers of Christ, actively seeking to know and be known honestly, selflessly, humbly and with a desiring heart can begin to open the door to that passionate intimacy.