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Whispers In The Dark

In the darkness, I’m comfortably warm in my bed. The day’s issues have been addressed and the day’s conversations have come to a close. They’re not even in my mind right now and it’s time to rest. But as I lay quietly, I can’t let it go. I can’t quiet my heart and let it be over. My joy and the intimacy are too compelling and inviting to let it end now. So I press on quietly. Not wanting wake my precious wife, I whisper quietly mouthing the words that spring from my heart under my breath - wanting, needing the conversation to continue.

“Lord, you are indeed the God of all that is good and truly holy. There is no one Lord who is worthy to stand to compare with the greatness of even your mere shadow. Your breath gives us life! You are the source of all that we need and our heart’s true desire. You are our sole provider, our defender and our security. You are my great and wise counselor and most intimate confidant. Lord, I can trust you for anything. You are awesome and my greatest joy and I, am your grateful child …” on and on it goes.

What’s happening is a frequent occurrence that sometimes lasts for hours, but I always wake up refreshed. I may have just prayed earlier at the end of the day expecting that the exchange would be my last conversation with Him for that day. But His Spirit meets me there and suddenly I’m overwhelmed. He’s near and my heart swells at His close presence and I can’t hold back my joy. My body’s tired, but my heart’s doing cartwheels and I can’t deny myself this moment in His presence …

I’ve always been full of life. In my younger years I lived hard and fast. I was an overly aggressive provider, a leader and a man among men. My wife and I are nearly at the end of raising our seven children and are blessed by many beautiful grandchildren. During all of this He’s seen me through early addictions, destructive relationships, a suicide attempt, car crashes, deaths that rocked us, a devastating house fire, relationship struggles, construction site mishaps, a simultaneous triple stroke and so many life calamities, trials and heart breaking disappointments that I couldn’t possibly list them all here.

My point? My point is that He saw me through all of it. He was always there … and He always will be. During those times He raised me, loved, blessed, spanked, taught, corrected and counseled me through all of it and always to my benefit. Sounds like the ultimate Father doesn’t it? There’s a reason for that – He is! Consequently, there’s no one I trust more and no one I could possibly ever love more.

Does this mean that I now do everything right? The Lord Himself is my greatest witness – no! I’m a disciple similar to any other. I’m flawed, but my love for Him draws me continually to work to change my heart and mind into an image that’s more compatible to having a closer relationship with Him. This is something I can’t do by myself – and He’s known that from the beginning. He loves me anyway - just as I am and continues help me conform more and more into His own image patiently and tenderly. Sometimes, but not always, those changes come through trials or challenges that I must face in order to learn and or change. It may sometimes involve pain, but birthing a new creature sometimes does and in the end it has worthwhile rewards.  


All of these things I’ve mentioned to paint a picture of two inseparable beings in a love relationship that’s only grown increasingly stronger over the years – to such a point that my heart thrills excitedly every time I feel Him near. Because if you don’t experience this kind of relationship with our Lord, I want you to know that you’re missing something – the greatest thing that you could ever hope for in this life. Close kinship and loving relationship with the one God who created everything. If you are missing out, then realize that the blame is on you … because He’s been waiting for you the whole time. He doesn’t care about blame, only that He finds your heart seeking His. Seek Him out sincerely … and you’ll certainly find Him. The results will be that you’ll find the one thing that your heart’s been longing for from the day you were born … and you’ll never be the same again …

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